I have self diagnosed myself officially with a sleep disorder and anxiety problems. I cannot sleep, even if I wanted to. I constantly feel nervous and anxious. There are several contributing factors to these two ailments. Since I can't make the contributing factors disappear I need to start medicating myself in order to deal. I was up until 2:30 a.m. Monday morning due to storms and tornadoes in the area. I was awakened this morning at 4:45 by a lightning show taking place outside my window. Needless to say I am not a fan of storms. I do not mind the occasional rain shower now and again or a little rumble of thunder here and there, but the severe storms get me all worked up. I have decided something traumatic had to have happened in my childhood that caused me to have such a storm phobia. I must have repressed that memory so deep that it will never surface.
I try to take naps to ease the sleepless night and tired issue, but that only creates more problems. I do not fall asleep very quickly so that means my mind has free reign to think about whatever it wants. My mind wanders and roams to the most obscure and outrageous thoughts. It doesn't help that my daughter is not with me for the summer. I think if she were here I would have more time to talk to her and less time to think about things that don't need to be thought about.
Then this all leads to the anxiety issue that I am currently suffering from. Due the amount of information and different scenarios playing out in my mind involving my personal life, it causes me to become nervous feeling, anxious, jittery. Ugh. I would like that feeling to subside.
So, yep, I'm a doctor. Add it to my list of all my other titles, this one probably being one of the more impressive ones. Well, I'm signing off for today so I can go suffer from anxiety and let my mind wander to needless flights of fancy.
-Jocelyn :)
No comments:
Post a Comment