Lets do a little algebra, shall we?
right guy + wrong time = fail
wrong guy + right time = fail
wrong guy + wrong time = fail
right guy + right time = undetermined
So, class, what did we learn from this algebra lesson? Well, you probably learned nothing, but I have learned that every time I think I have it figured out and am ready for a relationship, the timing is wrong, the guy is wrong, the situation is complicated, yada, yada, yada. Reading my sister's blog earlier and laughing at her luck with the attraction of younger men, I started thinking about my life at 25 (that's how old she is). At 25, I had a three year old, just moved three hours away from my family to start a new job and new life, and was on the verge of complete and total independence. Talk about a scary time in my life. That was seven years ago. So lets see where I am now at 33. I live three hours away from my family with the same job and same life; I have a ten year old, and I am still completely and totally independent, for the most part. Oh, wait, lets add one more similarity to the list...I was and still am single. So while my sister is worrying about her boobs and attracting younger men, I'm worrying about my weight and hair color and attracting men in general. Now, lets not get it twisted, I have dated in the past seven years since being here, but there is no ring on the finger, there is no man in the house, there is no man blowing up the phone. However, I am happy. I must admit that I'm a tad bit cynical about love, but who isn't? People, life is not a Tyler Perry movie where the single mother finds the hot, muscle laden hunk who falls in love the first time their eyes meet. My life will not happen that way. I can try to speak that phrase into existence all I want, but I know damn well that that is not gonna happen to me! However, (yes, another however) I have attracted my fair share of frogs, therefore my prince is out there somewhere with that glass slipper. I don't think he's in Ark City, but I know he's somewhere. I would hate to think I am destined to a life equivalent to an old lady with 30 cats. I deserve more than that! It's funny when I hear something like, "J, I have always been attracted to you since college, but you were always with someone else." Well, damn it, say something. It could have been you instead of that loser I was with! I'm sure if I had made a different decision here, a different decision there, my life would be significantly different. But He has led to this point and will continue to lead me wherever He sees fit. I just have to trust Him and enjoy the journey.
Since I have run out of things to say for now, I leave you with this: I am adopting a new mantra: It will be if I want it to be. Speak it into existence.
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