So today I caught myself watching If You Really Knew Me, a show on MTV that I have tried to stay away from due to various reasons. The thing that caught my eye and forced me to watch was the fact was it this episode was filmed at Putnam City West High School in Oklahoma City. Being close to home I felt I couldn't just pass the channel and act like I didn't see what I had seen.
Without delving into the specifics of the show, the premise is one to bring a school together by allowing students to share personal secrets/stories knowing they are in a safe place and free of judgment. The program has a Challenge Day when the students face each other, voice their secrets/stories each of them has been hiding, and vows to overcome the judging, the racism, the bigotry, the sexism, etc. It's this part of the show that brings the students involved, teachers involved, and viewers to tears alike. So needless to say, I was fighting back the tears as I watched this show. If I had been in the room alone, the weatherman might have issued a flash flood warning, but since Kalyn was watching a little bit with me, I bit my lip, gripped the chair, and fought off the tears. These kids shared secrets that range from their sexuality, to feeling guilty and faulted for a close friends' death, to being raised by a grandmother because he has no idea if his homeless mother is dead or alive, and even one student who couldn't find a way to connect at all due to her pretty average and normal upbringing.
These are teens.
These are teens...17 and 18 years old....
I'm 33, and I have days where I think my life is rough. My life is not rough. Yes, I am a single mother. Does that make my life rough? No. I've been doing this for nine years, and I'm still standing. My parents have been married 35 years. I have not had a close friend die. I can't empathize with those students. I can't imagine living a life as tough as some of these kids. I can't imagine.
The one statement that the creator of the If You Really Knew Me program asks students to finish, which makes it the most moving part of the show, is the "If you really knew me, you would know that..." This is the statement that forces those students to be completely honest with not only themselves but with those around them, some of whom they have never even spoken to in class, in the hall, at a game, etc.
Can you finish that statement? Would you be willing to finish that statement without fear of judgment, isolation, hurt, losing friends, or losing loved ones? I don't know if I could comfortably finish that statement. With the answers that flash through my mind as I finish this statement, a tinge of anxiety sets in. I'm 33 and have anxiety about finishing that statement. These kids are 17-18 years old and are longing for people to care for them, which is probably the reason there is little embarrassment or apprehension about sharing their secrets.
I can't help but think of how a project like this would go over at Arkansas City High School. I have doubts that our student body could handle such a serious, life-changing, motivational event as the Challenge Day.
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