I don't remember being as dramatic in high school as teens are these days. I want so bad to tell each and every student I encounter that the friends they make in high school are not the friends they will have for the rest of their lives. The boy she falls in "love" with during high school will not be the one she spends the rest of her life with. Now, I know there are people who will quickly disagree with both of these statements, but this is my blog and based on my experiences, which makes both statements factual and completely truthful. I don't speak to any of my friends from high school except on Facebook time to time or at a class reunion (which my 20th is coming up -- OUCH). I'm not married to my high school sweetheart, mainly because he dumped me our junior year, tried and failed to reconcile briefly during our first year of college, and now don't even speak at all (except at this upcoming reunion -- OUCH).
I want so bad to tell my kids in class that, yes, while grades do matter, will he remember what grade he got in English 1 his freshman year? In ten years, will it matter if he got an A or a C? It will matter, however, how he treated others. Not only do our words speak volumes, our actions speak even louder. Was I a bully because others weren't as "cool" as me? Or because someone didn't dress as nice as me? Or because I was an athlete and others were in drama? It's hard for me to say, as a teacher, that grades don't matter because in the grand scheme of things, they do. As a parent, it's hard for me say that because I want my child to be successful, but how I measure and define success is vastly different from how others measure and define success. I'm more worried about the type of person she is, of what type of person she will become, how she treats others, how others treat her (which I have little control over), all take precedence over her grades.
When I moved to Ark City in 2004, it was just Kalyn and I. I knew no one. My sisters were still in junior high and high school. I have never been so scared in my life. I had a child who was completely dependent on me to make sure the transition from living at home with daily help from my parents to being the single mom in control of her life and mine. Within the year, I met some of the most wonderful people who I still remain close with and can count on if I need anything. Those are the people who matter the most. It's not the people in high school who I was forced to be friends with. It's those people I met in college who, even after 15 years, I know will drop everything to help and support me in a time of crisis. It's those people we meet in our adult lives that are supportive and understanding. It's those people who matter. It's those people who believe in us, touch our lives, and will always have a place in our heart.
Yes, it's important to have friends. Yes, it's important to make good grades. But what's more important are the people we meet during our life that will leave a lasting impression. Hopefully we can be that person for someone else.
